Year in Review

This year has been filled with amazing highs and amazing lows. I’m looking forward to what 2006 has to offer. I’m looking forward to looking forward and moving on, but let’s take a look back at what happened in 2005.

  1. I started the year as a newlywed.
  2. I learned a few things about my new home Seattle.
  3. Lauren and I moved into a larger condo.
  4. I started working for Enotes.com on a full time basis
  5. After much lusting I bought a fat new plasma TV.
  6. I spoke about MySQL’s FULLTEXT indexes at MySQL UC and visited Las Vegas for the first time.
  7. I watched in amazement as my dog had intimate relations with my cat. I, of course, took video and posted it to my blog.
  8. My first visit to Vegas ended badly.
  9. Not everyone though Anthony Federov sucked as bad as I thought he did.
  10. I started hacking on my condo with mostly positive results.
  11. I briefly thought about returning to school, but was stopped dead in my tracks by a horrific GMAT score. More studying and another go at the GMAT is currently on my horizon.
  12. My dad got a huge promotion at work.
  13. Enotes.com launches the first AJAX based dictionary lookup on the web.
  14. I tell the world just how badly Detroit, my former hometown, sucks. Subsequently, I am now in the top five on Google for “detroit sucks”.
  15. I lost another 25lbs (11.3kg).
  16. I completely renovated my kitchen.
  17. Enotes.com bought a Google Search Appliance, which is possibly the ugliest box ever put in a colo facility.
  18. We launched Enotes 6.0 after about 1.5 man years of work. This will go down as one of my greatest work accomplishments to date. I’m still amazed at how well it came together and how well the team worked to get this out the door.
  19. Lauren and I end our marriage.

It’s amazing how much can happen in a single year isn’t it? This year I started a new job, traveled to two countries and five states, renovated my condo and ended a nine month old marriage.

Here’s to 2006!

Breaking the silence

It is with a great amount of sadness that I am announcing that Lauren and I are ending our marriage. In early September Lauren moved out of our condo in Seattle into her own apartment. I’m not going to go into specifics as it’s a rather personal matter. What I can say is that the split is amicable and that we are still on speaking terms.

So what now? Well, once the legalities are finished Lauren will no doubt get her CPA and go on to be highly successful. I, on the other hand, will continue to work at Enotes, live in Seattle and continue with my plans for world domination. You’re probably wondering what the hell I’ve been doing for the last few months as well. In no particular order …

  1. With Lauren gone and an empty room in the condo collecting dust I put up an ad on craigslist for a roommate. I had a few responses, all females oddly enough, and ended up with a crazy girl from New Zealand who will be known on this site as Kiwi. All is going well and she’s even been nice enough to put up with my current bathroom renovations.
  2. I bought a LandRover Discovery Series II for snowboarding and trips to Home Depot.
  3. John and I have been spending a day each weekend snowboarding at Crystal Mountain in Washington.
  4. In early December I went to Las Vegas for one of my fraternity brother’s bachelor parties. Don’t ask for details as they’re quite hazy.
  5. For Christmas I flew home to Michigan to surprise my mom for Christmas. Needless to say she was rather shocked to come home one day and find me sitting in the living room. I miss good home cooking.
  6. For New Year’s I went over to Brad’s place for food, good beer and great conversation. As usual it was a great time.
  7. My current project is renovating my bathroom. I’m done with the tiling for the most part. Pictures will ensue.

My plans now are to focus on me for a while. I’m going to do some traveling, finish working on my condo and set up the entertainment system I’ve been slowly putting together for the last month or so.

Life will go on.

Brokeback Mountain

I went with a friend to see Brokeback Mountain, also known as “The Gay Cowboy Movie”, this last Sunday. I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing a movie about two guys falling in love, but being the movie buff I am and the immense critical acclaim and press this movie was getting I figured I didn’t have anything to lose. Boy was I wrong.

Forget that there are two guys kissing and, yes, having sex. Put that aside for just a second. Let’s instead focus on how absolutely boring this movie was. I felt like I had ran a marathon at the end. And the acting? If Heath Ledger gets an Oscar for his performance it will be a complete and utter travesty. You can’t understand a word he says, when he does actually say something and the entire “plot” moves along at a snail’s pace.

My other problem with this movie is that it quickly brushes over what I think are important plot points. Highlight the following for plot spoilers. Jake Gyllenhaal’s character has illicit affairs in Mexico with male prostitutes, another affiar with a ranch hand in Texas and winds up being killed for being gay. A total of five, maybe ten, minutes are given to these stories.

Overall, I’d say this movie is something to avoid at all cost and it’s not because it’s two guys falling in love, it’s because it’s just a terribly acted and horrifically told story.

A few bits of wisdom

  • Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
  • If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
  • Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
  • The second mouse gets the cheese.
  • When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  • Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
  • You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
  • Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
  • We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
  • A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Via Dave.

I

I’m attempting to be more diligent in my shopping habits. Instead of simply going out and buying whatever the local big box has on the shelf I’ve been looking into various manufacturer’s websites and shopping around online for the best price. Today I bought the Sony SA-VE367T for my new receiver.

It dawned on me that I spent about 20 minutes searching manufacturers’ websites, searching Google for reviews/prices and then purchasing exactly what I wanted for about 50% less than retail. Simply amazing.

What are your shopping habits online? I use manufacturer websites to get model numbers and specifications, Google for finding user/expert reviews and pricing and then usually check out Amazon.com since they often have the best pricing and free shipping. What about you?

Holiday Greetings

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it is so
difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending
someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I wish to
say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive,
gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with
the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices
of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular
traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not
to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is
the only “America” in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

  1. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
  2. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
  3. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
  4. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a
    new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a
significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

New Year's Resolution

  1. Travel to two new continents.
  2. Lose the last 20 pounds lingering around my waste.

Regarding the first resolution I’ve started researching both destinations along with gear. As for destinations I’ve decided on visiting Europe and Asia. In Europe I’m hoping to visit Amsterdam and Prague with the possibility of Rome. In Asia I plan on visiting Dubai. As with any travels, especially international travel, much planning will go into these trips. I’ve targeted May or Jun for my Europe trip and next fall for my Dubai trip. I’ve started researching airfare, places to stay and required gear. Thus far below is what I have so far.

  1. Get a passport.
  2. Unlock my Motorola RAZR V3.
  3. Research and purchase international SIM card(s).
  4. Purchase a large back pack with enough room for gear, clothes, maps and some food. Preferably have a CamelPak built in.
  5. Purchase a Palm Pilot with Bluetooth and WiFi. Additionally, purchase translation software and a Bluetooth GPS unit with European maps.
  6. Research health insurance coverage in Europe and, if needed, purchase trip insurance.
  7. Purchase a new digital camera.

Have you traveled abroad? If so, what would you add to the list? I’m especially curious to hear from people who have traveled to the Eastern Bloc and the Middle East. I’m also extremely interested in what I should put on my list of sights to see and what I can safely ignore. Where should I stay? I hear hostels are the way to go for the most part in Europe. I had a friend tell me that the party hostels in Barcelona he stayed in were the best in the world. My highest priority when choosing the gear above was mobility. I don’t plan on taking a laptop for both mobility and security reasons (I don’t want it getting stolen in a hostel). That’s also my reasoning behind purchasing a backpack and not taking a suitcase. I also plan on taking an analog notebook to write down directions, numbers, notes, etc.

As for the second goal, I’ve been slowly working my way down to 200 pounds from 265 pounds for the last 1.5 years. I’ve got a diet and exercise plan that works for me, it’s just a matter of focusing on it. I’ve also managed to change my eating habits to the point where when I quit dieting I’m able to maintain my weight. This is, obviously, the easier and less expensive of my two new resolutions.

IE continues to suck

As some of you may know I run a small picture hosting site. A user emailed me the other day to say that Internet Explorer was only allowing her to download images at BMP images, despite the image being a JPG or a GIF. Turns out this is a known issue. I figured that had to be a way to turn off caching via the HTTP headers and I think I have a solution. If you’re sending dynamic files via PHP give these headers a try.


<?php

// Your file's extension
$ext = 'jpg';

// Your file's name
$name = 'goofypicture.jpg';

// Your file's location
$src = '/path/to/'.$name;

header("Pragma: public");
header("Expires: 0");
header("Cache-Control: must-revalidate, post-check=0, pre-check=0");
header("Cache-Control: private",false);
header("Content-Type: image/".$ext);
header('Content-Disposition: inline; filename="'.$name.'"');
header("Content-Length: ".filesize($src));

?>

Enotes 6.0 Launches

It is with great pleasure that I announce Enotes 6.0. This is the 6th major iteration of the site since I’ve come on board and is by far the largest undertaking thus far. This iteration includes, in no particular order, the following upgrades.

  1. Completely redesigned by PBDH
  2. Expanded the content catalogue by over 20,000 articles
  3. All code is PHP5 E_STRICT compliant (except the code in PEAR)
  4. Moved to a monthly subscription model
  5. Added thousands of lines of code, stylesheets, HTML and XSLT
  6. Numerous other enhancements, tweaks and upgrades

It’s taken our developer team just over four months to take this from concept to reality. This has included upgrading to PHP5 (no small feat when you have 60,000 lines of code that are all PHP4 OOP), installing and configuring additional webservers, installing and configuring a Google Search Appliance, completely rewriting the shopping cart and creating an automated rebilling system from scratch.

Needless to say this wasn’t a one man show. I’d especially like to thank Ian and Matt for putting in extra hours to make sure we launched before the new semester. The team at PBDH deserves many thanks for their prompt and professional design services. And, finally, I’d like to thank caffeine. Without our beloved coffee Brad, Alex, Heather, Brandi, Ian, Matthew and myself would have passed out a long time ago.

For comparison here is a screenshot of the old site.

Christmas

A few family members have been asking what I want for Christmas. The answer is nothing. I’ve got more toys than I know what to do with as it stands. I’ve got more clothes than most women and I just bought two new pairs of shoes. But, for those who insist on purchasing me something for Christmas here is a short list of my “needs”.

Whatever you do don’t purchase me clothes or toys. I don’t need either. Also, don’t use my Amazon wishlist as reference it’s fairly outdated, though I won’t complain too much if I get a few DVD’s this year.

Before you think “Hey, I should get Joe something for Christmas” look at the last bullet point on this list and ask yourself if I really need what you were thinking about getting me.