I ran across a funny rant about how nice guys finish last. Being a purported nice guy I found this to be pretty funny.

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.”

Yes, why do women do that? Figuring this out is actually quite easy. In high school I thought being a nice guy would get all the girls and, as the author points out, that doesn’t work. In college I caught on, if I liked a girl I acted like I could care less. If you’re interested in learning how to effectively catch that cute college coed read on.

The reason for girls hate nice guys, I realized, is because nice guys are boring. We treat them with respect, open doors, pay for the bills, buy them flowers, etc. In other words, we’re not a challenge. Also, we don’t give them anything to complain about. How can they complain about how crappy their boyfriend is if he’s not crappy? The creeps they date offer a challenge and the thrill of the hunt so to speak.

But, as the author says, girls catch on that the asshole Abercrombie boys are just that: assholes. So you have two options guys:

1. Between the ages of 18 and 22 act like a complete asshole and dress like an Abercrombie model.
2. Wait until you’re 24 and have your pick of the litter as a premier nice guy.

Worked for me.

I always hear about people who see famous people at airports, resturants, etc., but I’m never one of those guys. Unless you count the time when I was three and I met Michael Landon, which I don’t remember at all. Then, out of nowhere, I see two huge sports figures in less than two days.

1. On Friday, at the Seattle airport, I’m standing in the security line waiting to go through the metal detectors when I notice a guy in a baseball cap walking past me who looks oddly familiar. I take another look and think that the guy looks just like Curt Shilling. I take a third look and notice he was walking with a cane and favoring his right foot. Sure enough, I was standing about two feet away from one of the greatest pitchers of all time. Under different circumstances I would have said something, but he was about to get into line to get frisked so I held back. By the time I got through security he was long gone.
2. On Sunday, Josh and I decided to hit up some Qdoba. We walk and I notice a guy with a funny shirt that says Titanic Swim Team on it. I was laughing my ass off until I noticed the guy who was wearing it was none other than Michael Phelps the prolific young Olympic swimmer. I didn’t talk with him either. He was eating with a lady friend.

You may be wondering why I didn’t talk to either of them. Gotten an autograph or maybe a picture? Well, I think if I were in their position I’d rather not deal with someone like me. No matter how gracious I could have approached them I would have still been approaching someone about to get searched in a security line or someone in the middle of enjoying a meal with their lady friend. If I had been at a bar and either of them had walked in I’d buy them a beer and tell them how much I admire what they’ve done, but in both instances it was neither the time nor the place.

Even though I didn’t get an autograph or a picture I still have a few great stories. To tell the truth, I wouldn’t know how to even approach someone with the tenacity and will to win of Schilling or Phelps.

On a side note, I really did want to tell Phelps I turly admired how he handled his DUI charge. A young kid who has the guts to stand up under such a microscope and admit he was completely wrong, made a mistake and was sorrry is rather refreshing. Most high paid athletes these days try to spin things. Phelps took responsibility for his actions, which is all you can ask for.