General of 82nd Airborne Division wants Rumsfeld out

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There is a growing chorus to oust Rumsfeld and it’s coming from a large group of retired generals. Possibly the funniest part of this ongoing story is the White House’s response.

The White House has defended Rumsfeld, saying he is “doing a very fine job.”

Who is in a better position to critique how well Rumsfeld is performing as the leader of the Department of Defense? A bunch of policy makers who’ve never fired a gun in their lives or the leader of one of the most elite fighting forces in the world who’s been fighting wars for 30 years?

Dear Tech Support

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User

…

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

Migration to WordPress

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I’d begun the progress of moving to WordPress, before I even started considering Gumroad alternatives, because a lot of my stuff had been on website. The process began by migrating data from my old blog into the WordPress tables. After that I had to create a plugin that would adequately translate my old posts into the new WordPress posts. Now that that is all done I’ve started working on a new design for my site. It’s been about two years since I last refreshed the design so it’s definitely time for a change around here. v

WordPress, so far, isn’t difficult to work with per se, but the code is painful to look at. Not that there aren’t good things about WordPress. The following is a list of things I both like and dislike about my new home.

  • The code, as I already mentioned, is painful. There’s barely a trace of any kind of coding standards within the core code. Some of it is OOP, while other parts are procedural. To top this off; none of it appears to be documented.
  • The plugins and theme engines are fairly well laid out, documented and seamless. Within minutes I had created, activated and started using my own plugin. Very little programming knowledge is needed to get started, which would explain why there are thousands of WordPress plugins.
  • The database layout doesn’t use InnoDB, hence no foreign key constraints, nor does some of the field layout make much sense. That being said, it’s not horrible. The most annoying thing I found while migrating my old entries was that WordPress caches comment and post counts for posts and categories. So, despite a post have 3 comments, WordPress would show 0 comments.
  • Making WordPress sing with mod_rewrite was a snap.
  • Tags aren’t build in. What the hell?
  • The administrative part of the site is, quite simply, a work of art. I love it.
  • I’m currently using three plugins: the one that translates old joestump.net content into WordPress content, wp-recent-links and Spam Karma 2.2.
  • What you are looking at is not the final design.

So why did I convert to WordPress from my home grown code? Well, to put it simply, WordPress has all the bells and whistles that I simply don’t have the time to program. Another issue was that maintaining the old blog was a huge pain and I’m hoping by converting to WordPress it will directly lead to me blogging more frequently. Moreover, you can use Leadpages if you are running your website on WordPress. There are several landing page building tools and all are good in one way or the other, so the issue of ‘ClickFunnels versus Leadpages‘ is for you to consider and decide what you choose.

phpinfo() Phones Home

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So I was doing some client work today when I noticed something somewhat disturbing; phpinfo() has a logo that sends data back to php.net. I’m not sure exactly what the data is, but here’s the offending markup. 


<img border="0" src="?=PHPE9568F34-D428-11d2-A769-00AA001ACF42" alt="PHP Logo" />

The somewhat more disturbing part is that this image also sets a cookie. The cookie appears to hold both my country and the IP address of the requesting agent. 


COUNTRY=USA%2C64.34.176.111

I’ve looked at a few scripts and found that the src of the image file appears to change slightly between installations. I’m sure it’s nothing malicious, but it is a bit odd.

Anyone else know anything about this?

Birthday Mystery

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As I pointed out in a previous post, my birthday was on March 15th. I turned the ripe old age of 26 and had a good time doing so. At any rate, a few days ago I check my mail and find a birthday card which was postmarked from Columbus, OH. All it says is “Happy 26th! Jason”. I know three Jasons and none of them would be likely to send me a birthday card and I know for a fact that two of them don’t live anywhere near Columbus, OH. The only thing I can think is that someone who visits this site sent it to me.

If that’s the case then please send me an email to so I can thank you for the card.

March 14th, 2006

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That’s when it’s all over and Lauren and I will officially be no more in the eyes of the law. It’s at this point I’d like to lament the divorce laws of Washington for making a couple of young kids wait months before finalizing everything. Seriously, it’s just stupid.

The next day, March 15th, is my birthday. I’ll be turning the ripe old age of 26. 30 is right around the corner. A few days later I’ll be at a local Irish pub enjoying green beer in celebration of the fact that I was not named Patrick as my parents had planned if I had been born on March 17th.

Other than the upcoming busy week things are going fairly well. I have lots of work sitting in front of me, we move facilities and started upgrading some of our equipment and I’m kicking myself for not hitting 24 inches of fresh powder with Garren at Stephen’s Pass yesterday. Oh well, at least it’s sunny out today.

Pistons beat the buzzer

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Billups and Wallace at the scorer's table

On Friday I ventured down to Key Arena with Lauren. The deal was that if she couldn’t find someone to go to the game with then we’d go together. As luck would have it my boss was there with a friend as well sitting in the first row with four empty seats next to him. I think everyone knows where this is going. Lauren and I were able to make our down to the first row at center court. In the picture above you’ll see Chauncey Billups and Rasheed Wallace each sitting about 8 feet away from us and the guy in the white shirt is Bill Laimbeer.

Josh, this is the point where you ball up in the fetal position as the only response to your overwhelming sense of jealousy and rage at the fact you weren’t there with me drinking a beer and sitting in the awe that is Hamilton hitting a buzzer beater with 0.2 seconds left on the clock.

DB_Virtual 0.0.7

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This is a critical update for anyone using DB_Virtual. I wasn’t passing $onoff onto the master DB::autoCommit() function which would effectively break transactions.

Additionally, I was noticing strange behavior when I would do a couple of INSERT queries and then immediately query for that data set after the transaction had committed. What was happening was that the records were created on the master, but the subsequent SELECT was going to the slave before they had propagated to the slave. Basically master/slave latency was breaking the SELECT queries. As a result, I’ve added DB_Virtual::queryMaster(), which acts just like DB::query(), so you can query the master node in such situations.

  • Fixed a bug in DB_Virtual::autoCommit() that wasn’t passing $onoff to the master’s DB::autoCommit()
  • Added DB_Virtual::queryMaster() so you can send queries directly to the master

Download DB_Virtual 0.0.7

Framework 0.1.1

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A minor release that addresses a few small bugs and addresses some minor issues with where the database connection is stored. A recommended upgrade for anyone using Framework.

  • Fixed bug in query logic in Framework_User::__construct()
  • Added Framework_Auth_User
  • Added DB::disconnect() to Framework::stop()
  • Moved DB connection to Framework::$db so static methods can access the DB connection

Download Framework 0.1.1