Author Archives: joestump

Change can be good

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I think anyone who knows me would say, without a doubt, I’ve changed drastically over the last two years since moving to Seattle. I haven’t changed as a person per se, but I have definitely changed my lifestyle. Here’s a small list of things that my old friends from Michigan simply can’t comprehend.

  1. I’ve participated in multiple 5k’s and triathlons.
  2. I own a TV, but don’t have cable. I rarely watch TV and consume 90% of my media online.
  3. I rarely drive. This last summer I was quite proud of the fact that I didn’t drive my vehicle for 3.5 weeks.
  4. I don’t eat fast food for the most part.

Now reverse that list and that’s how I lived in the Midwest. The two there that my friends from Michigan are simply astounded about are not driving and not watching TV. This got me thinking as to how much of an impact my move to Seattle has had on the planet. So I took a quiz that calculates my ecological footprint to compare my two lifestyles. I’m happy to report that I’ve saved an entire planet by moving to Seattle! Well, not really, but my ecological footprint went from a score of 23 (5.2 planets to sustain my existence) to 18 (4 planets to sustain my existence).

So, this isn’t really something to cheer about, but it’s definitely an improvement. To top things off I really like the new me. I like training for triathlons, I like being ignorant of pop media and I especially like not having to drive everywhere.

Change is good.

I'm employee #20 at Digg

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It’s official. As of today I’m employee #20 at Digg. I sent in my resume in September fully expecting not to hear back, but over the course of the last few months it became apparent I was being considered for a position. I didn’t think much of it after not hearing from them for almost a month, but Brian Link sent me an email around the first of the year which turned out to be an official offer.

For those of you that don’t know, Digg is the 19th most visited site on the internet in the United States. It serves up more traffic than Wal-Mart, the New York Times or Best Buy. So, as you can imagine, I’m pretty excited about this opportunity. I’ll be arriving in San Francisco somewhere towards the beginning of February. If you’re in the area and would like to get pints please let me know.

Taking the job means that I won’t be doing any contract work and my open source projects will most likely sit idle for the time being. If you’re interested in maintaining Framework or any of my PEAR packages please let me know.

Adding authentication to PEAR channels

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A client of mine is taking the proactive approach of packaging all of their software using PEAR and distributing it via a custom PEAR channel. I can’t recommend this enough for people that are distributing their PHP code to a number of clients/users.

The problem is that, by default, PEAR channels are consumable by anyone with an internet connection. I sent an email to Greg asking him if there was a way to restrict this and how to go about doing it. As it turns out it’s not only available, but detailed in the free excerpt from his new book The PEAR Installer Manifesto.

There are a number of ways to restrict access. The more complicated approach involves coding a script that handles the authentication and then restricts packages on a per client basis. This is a great way to say client X can install packages A, C and F, while client Y can only install packages B and D.

The route I ended up taking involved simply setting up HTTP-Auth using and .htaccess and .htpasswd file. Once you have that set up and working you can log in with the following commands.

$ pear -d "pear.mychannel.com" login

Follow the instructions by entering your username and password and you should see a confirmation that you’re logged in. After that you’re allowed to download and install.

Year in Review

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  1. I started the year by telling everyone that Lauren and I were ending our marriage.
  2. I visited Dana down in San Diego, CA. The first of two trips to see my good friend and eat copious amounts of burritos.
  3. In February I released Framework and DB_Virtual unto the world. Not much rejoicing ensued, but many people are using the software and apparently quite happy with it.
  4. I found out that I have a herniated L5 disc in my back, which has happily escalated into full blown Sciatica.
  5. On March 14th Lauren and I were officially divorced. On March 15th I celebrated my 26th birthday.
  6. In April I attended MySQL UC and blogged the whole thing.
  7. I bought a road bike and started riding a lot.
  8. I ran in my very first 5k logging a time of 0:27:29.0.
  9. In July I declared Operation Fat Ass a success and started training for my first sprint triathlon.
  10. I bought the love of my life.
  11. Towards the end of August I ran in another 5k in Lynnwood logging a time of 23:44, which was good enough for 3rd place in my age division (20-29 Males) and 12th out of a field of 77.
  12. On September 17th, 2006 I participated in the Kirkland Tri-It Sprint Triathlon. I ended up taking first place out of the beginner’s heat with a time of 1:19:40.
  13. I pulled double duty and flew down to San Diego a scant two weeks later to participate in the Jamba Juice Sprint Triathlon. This time I placed 450th out of 1,480 participants with a time of 1:06:30.
  14. In late October I flew back to Michigan to attend Eastern Michigan University’s homecoming festivities.
  15. In early November my employment at Enotes.com came to a close. I haven’t mentioned this until now, but I’m no longer working for Enotes.com and am currently doing consulting for a number of clients.
  16. I spent Christmas and rang in the New Year with Rebecca in Seattle, WA.
  17. Towards the end of December my Sciatica found its stride and now keeps me from doing the most minimal of tasks.

Man Law

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  1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
  2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
    1. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
    2. The moment Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, any of the hot Jessica’s starts unbuttoning her blouse.
    3. After wrecking your boss’s car.
    4. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game.
    5. When she is using her teeth.
  3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
  4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
  5. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
  6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if it’s friggin’ warm.
  7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.
  8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
  9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
  10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.
  11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach … and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.
  12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
  13. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
  14. Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
  15. If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
  16. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
  17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
  18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
  19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
  20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.
  21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
    1. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
    2. C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
    3. Another set and we can hit the showers!
  22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
  23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
  24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have buck wild, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was (this discussion is, of course, optional).
  25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
  26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
  27. The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.
  28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.
  29. We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
    • “GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
    • “BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”

Recent music consumption

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Rebecca and I have been on a music binge lately. In order, by date, we’ve seen Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Kasabian, OK Go! and The Decemberists. In order, by best show, we’ve seen OK Go!, Kasabian, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and The Decemberists.

OK Go! is probably one of the best bands I’ve seen live. They rocked the house, sounded crisp and clear, had good crowd interaction and mixed things up with a short acoustic set. If they’re coming to a city near you anytime soon I’d highly recommend purchasing a few tickets. As a teaser here’s a clip I recorded during their encore.

Kasabian put on a great show as well, but they won’t be back in the states anytime soon. CYHSY put on a decent show, but nothing to get excited about, which is disappointing considering they’re one of my favorite bands and they absolutely rocked the house at Sasquatch.

This brings us to The Decemberists. Jesus, what a horrific show this was. Absolutely no crowd interaction and the band looked like a dead fish on stage. The show would have been great if I had closed my eyes, but that’s just like listening to the CD. Lame.

Back from Michigan

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I left Thursday morning to head back to Ypsilanti, MI, home of my alma mater, Eastern Michigan University for homecoming festivities. A quick run down of everything that transpired follows.

  1. Josh and I hung out with some of my fraternity brothers Thursday night and had a rather hilarious encounter with some girls from Bowling Green State.
  2. I hung out with Chris B and the crew at Pub 13 on Friday night and didn’t get to bed until 5:30AM the next morning.
  3. I rallied for tailgating, which started at noon on Saturday. As per usual, I didn’t make it to the game and, instead, opted to go to BW3’s to hang out with the old school Sig Taus.
  4. Saturday night I hung out with Charlie and some of the younger Sig Taus; after the old farts had went home to their wives and kids.
  5. Sunday I went up to West Branch with Jonathan and Erika to have lunch with my mom and dad. I had quite possibly the best burger of my life at Applebee’s. It was their new burger with pesto and mozzarella.
  6. Sunday night Josh and I hung out with Melissa and her friend Carrie to watch the Tiger’s second game of the World Series.
  7. Monday I went home.

All in all it was a great trip. I was able to catch up with a bunch of old friends and, after my weight loss and training, got a bunch of double takes from said old friends. It’s amazing how much people change, yet stay the same. Most of my friends from college are married and a good portion of them have kids, which scares the hell out of me.