Nice Guys Finish Last

I ran across a funny rant about how nice guys finish last. Being a purported nice guy I found this to be pretty funny.

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.”

Yes, why do women do that? Figuring this out is actually quite easy. In high school I thought being a nice guy would get all the girls and, as the author points out, that doesn’t work. In college I caught on, if I liked a girl I acted like I could care less. If you’re interested in learning how to effectively catch that cute college coed read on.

The reason for girls hate nice guys, I realized, is because nice guys are boring. We treat them with respect, open doors, pay for the bills, buy them flowers, etc. In other words, we’re not a challenge. Also, we don’t give them anything to complain about. How can they complain about how crappy their boyfriend is if he’s not crappy? The creeps they date offer a challenge and the thrill of the hunt so to speak.

But, as the author says, girls catch on that the asshole Abercrombie boys are just that: assholes. So you have two options guys:

  1. Between the ages of 18 and 22 act like a complete asshole and dress like an Abercrombie model.
  2. Wait until you’re 24 and have your pick of the litter as a premier nice guy.

Worked for me.

Celebrity Sightings

I always hear about people who see famous people at airports, resturants, etc., but I’m never one of those guys. Unless you count the time when I was three and I met Michael Landon, which I don’t remember at all. Then, out of nowhere, I see two huge sports figures in less than two days.

  1. On Friday, at the Seattle airport, I’m standing in the security line waiting to go through the metal detectors when I notice a guy in a baseball cap walking past me who looks oddly familiar. I take another look and think that the guy looks just like Curt Shilling. I take a third look and notice he was walking with a cane and favoring his right foot. Sure enough, I was standing about two feet away from one of the greatest pitchers of all time. Under different circumstances I would have said something, but he was about to get into line to get frisked so I held back. By the time I got through security he was long gone.
  2. On Sunday, Josh and I decided to hit up some Qdoba. We walk and I notice a guy with a funny shirt that says Titanic Swim Team on it. I was laughing my ass off until I noticed the guy who was wearing it was none other than Michael Phelps the prolific young Olympic swimmer. I didn’t talk with him either. He was eating with a lady friend.

You may be wondering why I didn’t talk to either of them. Gotten an autograph or maybe a picture? Well, I think if I were in their position I’d rather not deal with someone like me. No matter how gracious I could have approached them I would have still been approaching someone about to get searched in a security line or someone in the middle of enjoying a meal with their lady friend. If I had been at a bar and either of them had walked in I’d buy them a beer and tell them how much I admire what they’ve done, but in both instances it was neither the time nor the place.

Even though I didn’t get an autograph or a picture I still have a few great stories. To tell the truth, I wouldn’t know how to even approach someone with the tenacity and will to win of Schilling or Phelps.

On a side note, I really did want to tell Phelps I turly admired how he handled his DUI charge. A young kid who has the guts to stand up under such a microscope and admit he was completely wrong, made a mistake and was sorrry is rather refreshing. Most high paid athletes these days try to spin things. Phelps took responsibility for his actions, which is all you can ask for.

Cosby tells his homies to get up out his grill

Comedian Bill Cosby has been speaking out lately with some harsh words for his fellow African Americans. He hits some really touchy issues that we, as white Americans, can’t even approach.

“Let me tell you something, your dirty laundry gets out of school at 2:30 every day, it’s cursing and calling each other n—— as they’re walking up and down the street,” Cosby said during an appearance at the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition & Citizenship Education Fund’s annual conference.

“They think they’re hip,” the entertainer said. “They can’t read; they can’t write. They’re laughing and giggling, and they’re going nowhere.”

In a rare turn of events, Jesse Jackson actually agreed with someone.

“Bill is saying let’s fight the right fight, let’s level the playing field,” Jackson said. “Drunk people can’t do that. Illiterate people can’t do that.”

Well said.

Homer: Doh!

Evidently it’s not in the genes. A recent study says men don’t live as long as women for reasons not entirely related to our genetic make up. Here’s strong evidence as to why we don’t live that long …

In low-lying flood zones, says Thomas Songer of the University of Pittsburgh School of Public Health, men are more likely to drive around barricades and drown in high water.

Yup, we’re dying in massive numbers because we’re stupid. Really stupid. It makes sense. In a society of males that pays more honor to Homer Simpson than they do any voice of reason, I’m not surprised that us guys are such idiots. After all, we watch The Simpsons, Jackass, Beavis and Butthead, and Ren & Stimpy. Nope, this guys isn’t surprised at all.

Of breasts and backs

I have a few grips today, as I usually do. Even Republicans have to question the idea of nominating George W. Bush for the Nobel Peace Prize. First he drops mad bombs over Afghanistan, which I totally support, then he wages one of worst one sided attacks in history, and then he gets a Nobel Prize? That’s just insane! Although Hitler was once named Time in 1938 followed by Stalin in 1942. Not saying that Bush is the same caliber as these two monsters.

In other rants today I was at California Pizza Kitchen when a person I was eating lunch with told me to look to my left. What did I see? The lady in the next booth over breast feeding her baby. I’m not sure if I’ve seen such an apalling site in all my days. I understand the kid has to eat, but put your boobs away and let me eat WITHOUT listening to your kid suck mom’s milk. It’s just rude and wrong.

And for news about broken backs. Cedar Point has a new roller coster named Top Thrill Dragster. The reviews are starting to come in.

Sweet Jesus. There’s Millennium Force. Way down below us.

It’s time to drop, at 90 degrees, from over 400 feet.

Abandon all hope …
If Hell has thrill rides, this brilliantly evil machine should be one of them.

Needless to say my sorry ass needs to get to Cedar Point and check this thing out! It looks amazing!

Shotgun Rules

At my previous place of employment it was common for the entire engineering team (yes all three of us) to get lunch together. This meant one of us was stuck riding in the back seat. We became accustomed to calling “Shotgun” and accordingly followed the official shotgun rules. It’s a great read and brings up many, many memories of high school trips to the mall and movies.

Jesus H. Christ

I’ve officially seen it all. This internet panhandling thing has gone too far: A girl is trying to get money to buy breast implants. Though it doesn’t seem as though it’s as successful as Karyn’s panhandling it has been getting press.

In other news I’ve been drooling over these two cold cast statues of Jay and Silent Bob. If you have a spare $180.00 that you’re itching to spend email me so you can send me the statues.

The best unknow band right now

I’m not known for being the person that listens to the coolest bands before they become cool, but I’ve found a gold mine. I just finished reading a recent interview on the band Injected who I first saw opening for Default.

When I first saw them I was instantly struck by their amazing stage presence. You can just tell they truly love playing for the audience. The best quote in the article follows.

You want to get back at someone who treated you badly in school? Show up at your high school reunion driving a Mercedes-Benz 500 SEL. That’s revenge.

When they came to Detroit I got to meet the band and get their autographs. They were very cool guys without a doubt. They have a fresh sound that is an interesting mix of powerful lyrics and heave metal solos. If these guys don’t become stars it will truly be an injustice. You can pick up their CD from