My father has all sorts of funny quips and sayings about being a hard worker, respect and life. People ask me when he’s going to retire and I usually respond “never”. Not because he can’t, but simply because I’m not sure it’s even a thought that crosses the mind of a man who was working longer hours than I do before he started grade school. At any rate, one of the things he told me was “If you’re going to be a burger flipper, by God, be the best burger flipper there is.”

Well, I think Quiznos has found the best sub makers around. When the store’s owner disappeared in November and distributors stopped giving the store food supplies on credit the manager took matters into her own hands. She bought supplies from other Quizno stores using money from the previous day’s till and began paying employees cash from the till on a daily basis.

Sounds like things are shaping up now, though, that the corporate office of Quiznos caught window of the story. They are now transferring ownership and sending in support staff.

A while back some of the news sites online were running a story about a tattoo artist who defaced his clients by using Japanese symbols that where profain. As a result he’s spending 5 years in jail. Evidently, jail has not been a reason to stop his scheming ways.

Using a tattoo gun fashioned out of a sharpened paper clip, dental floss, and a ballpoint pen taped to a plastic spork, the disgruntled prisoner has drawn Black Panther Party symbols on white supremacists, written CRIPS 4 EVA on rival gang members, and left dozens of hardened criminals with butterflies, fairies, and unicorns permanently etched in their skin.

“I wanted a stack of skulls on my back,” said murderer Jimmy Drake, “and that Asian prick gave me a giant Winnie the Pooh!”

Many prisoners ask for spider webs on their elbows to signify time spent in jail. Sakai’s webs have hidden messages in them such as, “Fuck Cops,” “I Swallow,” and “Salad Tosser.” Sakai got the idea for the cryptic tats after reading Charlotte’s Web in the prison library. “That E.B. White’s a genius, man,” Sakai proclaimed.

To say it’s hysterical is and understatement, but the guy is obviously an idiot who doesn’t care about his own safety. As a result of his escapades he has been put in solitary confinement for the remainder of his prison sentence (for his own safety of course).