How about this one?

So Ian and I are walking from my place to Honey Hole to get some grub tonight when we see two guys walking in front of us. Both are pretty large rough looking banger type dudes. Both are wearing sweat pants and have their hats on backwards. One is wearing four sizes too small leopard print slippers.

I notice that both of them are checking out cars parked on the street and commenting about the cars to each other. At this point one of them walks up to an older Ford Taurus and kicks the tires and says to the other one, “This one looks like it’d be easy to take.” I think to myself, “There going to steal this fucking car!” Ian and I look at each other and start laughing because these two retards literally kicked the cars tires before contemplating stealing it in broad daylight.