- Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasnt changed at all; women are still property, blacks still cant marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. Check over here to find ways of resolving family issues.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
- Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldnt be allowed to marry because our orphanages arent full yet, and the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. Thats why we have only one religion in America.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. Thats why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we havent adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Interesting. Can I assume you are in favour of, or at least ambivalent towards gay marriage?
The problem I perceive with gay marriage is that the only way for two males to have sex involves faeces, and there are serious health implications with damaging the rectal wall, and getting faeces in your bloodstream.
Trouble is, we’re not talking about just kissing here.
That is fantastic. I’ve posted it on my blog too!
“The problem I perceive with gay marriage is that the only way for two males to have sex involves faeces, and there are serious health implications with damaging the rectal wall, and getting faeces in your bloodstream.”
You never banged a chick in the pokey?! You’re missin’ out bub.