Ran across a rather amusing story today talking about the serious dangers of wearing flip flops. You read that right; an entire article devoted to the serious dangers of wearing flip flops. Researchers, and I use that term lightly, have found a wide range of problems associated with flip flops including the following.

1. Flip flops can cause accidents by getting stuck under the pedal or “foot slipping off the pedal altogether.”
2. Toxins in flip flops can cause lower sperm counts in men and are known to attack the liver, kidneys and reproductive organs.

They even have some in-depth first hand experience about just how dangerous this type of footwear can be.

Leigh Purves, gossip columnist for the Daily Star, is among those to have had a close call while driving with designer flip flops. She has told how, while travelling on the M1, her sandal got stuck under the brake pedal and she missed another car “by millimetres”.

I wear flip flops probably every day during the summer. Now that I live in Seattle, I wear them pretty much year round. According to this “research” if I’m are drinking with my friends at the beach I can pretty much kiss my liver goodbye (not that five years in college and a fraternity didn’t help with that effort).

But the ongoing scandal of wearing flip flops doesn’t just stop here. Oh, no, they can lead to international incidents as well! Recently, the Lacrosse team from Northwestern University, caused an international stir when they wore flip flops while attending the White House to meet President Bush.

The entire debacle unfolded after a player’s gay brother (he has to be gay; who else besides a gay man would notice a girl’s footwear in a photo?) sent her an email titled “YOU WORE FLIP FLOPS TO THE WHITE HOUSE?!” Oh the shame!

So there you have it. Flip flops cause car accidents, organ failure, the shooting of proverbial blanks and, quite possibly, the use of a CIA hit squad to kill you.